OneChanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad


Basic Information

System: Xbox 360
Developer: Tamsoft
Publisher: D3Publisher
Genre: hack and slash, survival horror, girls
Release Date: February 10, 2009
ESRB: Mature (17+)

Review
OneChanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad is a difficult game to review. If the game wasn’t about beautiful half-naked women killing zombies, it would probably suck.  Now, you’re probably wondering why this game has such a high rating, if it’s gameplay sucks, well, I’ll get into that later.

First I’ll comment on the storyline, which is practically non-existent and jumps right into stuff that are never even covered in the game, leaving you wondering what the heck the characters are talking about.  Though, this could be because I never played any of the previous games in the series.  All of the characters speak in Japanese, with English sub-titles, so unless you speak Japanese, you have to read everything they say.

The game takes place in Japan, where a zombie outbreak occurs. Two high school sisters, who apparently have experience in fighting zombies, rush to save the city. They prove yet again, that apparently bra and panties are all the armor one needs when it comes to taking down hordes of, well, just about anything.

The game’s graphics are really good, which is something I imagine the developers were going for, to make the characters look even better. The music is also good, or atleast it would be, if they had more than one song that played over-and-over-and-over again, non-stop.

The gameplay is fun at first, but gets repetitive after a while.  You can dual wield both swords and guns alike.  The fighting primarily revolves around just button mashing. The developers over at Tamsoft seem to be rather keen on groin strikes, for over half of your attacks go for a zombie’s nuts. In the end though, the gameplay is mediocre at best, but gets tiring and repetitive later on.

For some reason, your character will die if you sword fight too much, even if you don’t get it. So you have to find statues of the Virgin Mary, which will replenish your “vitality”.  Guns on the other hand have unlimited ammo, and don’t require any “vitality”. Some zombies are, or rather were, police officers, and they have guns. Other zombies have chainsaws, throwing knives/axes, and melee weapons, while others are unarmed.

The game is very bloody and gory. And you can swing the blood off of your sword if you want to, thus slinging blood all over the ground.  Though, I see no game-play reason for doing this, or just about anything else in the game, which I’ll divulge into later.

The special moves are pretty cool, and range from temporarily stopping time and slashing inanimate zombies, to grabbing and squeezing a zombie’s testicles and ripping them off, to diving to your knees and unloading a plethora of bullets into zombies, to jumping then grabbing a zombies head and slamming him in the ground, to letting a zombie crawl on you then kick him in the nuts, to running into and climbing on a zombie.

The character designer(s) at Tamsoft deserve an e-cookie for an excellent job on designing the game’s characters. They are, for video game characters, quite stunning. You can also dress the characters up in different attire, and play as them using custom uniforms in the game.

The game is very easy, and not really scary at all, despite having zombies in it.  The hardest thing in the game isn’t fighting monsters, it’s finding out where to go and how to get there.  Luckily there is a map, however, it doesn’t tell you how to get to the are you need to go. The game also doesn’t tell you how to do anything, or what to do whatsoever, and there is no tutorial. It’s like the developers just expect you to know what to do automatically.

The AI isn’t too bright either, not even the AI for the bosses. Zombie dogs are especially bad when it comes to AI. 75% of the time you can walk past a pack of zombie dogs and they won’t even try to attack you. In the game, you basically just go to the same places over and over again, back and forth. The game is also glitchy quite a bit. The game also seems to lack any way of healing your characters.

All in all, I’d say that OneChanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad is worth playing, just for the girls and due to the “urban legend” status that has been placed on the game in the Western world. The game should take up quite a few hours of your time. Plus, it makes for a good conversation piece too, not to mention the game isn’t that bad. So all-in-all, if you like games with hot chicks and/or zombies in them, you may want to check this out. Please keep in mind that this is my first review, and so I’m not a professional video game reviewer, but I hope you still found this interesting and informative. Until next time, happy gaming!

Rating
Story: 1/10
Fun: 3/10
Gameplay: 2/10
Multiplayer: didn’t try
Graphics: 5/10
Music: 1/10
Replay Value: 1/10
Difficulty: 1/10
Overall: 3/10

About Kevin

My name is Kevin and I'm a junior in high school.
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11 Responses to OneChanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad

  1. Bryan says:

    Very very very unprofessional review. Filled with grammatical errors and improper punctuation. I couldn’t read the whole thing. I don’t take reviews, or reviewers for that matter, seriously if they are unwilling to proof read their own work.

  2. Kevin says:

    What grammar errors did you find? Other than perhaps the “”. but even that isn’t technically incorrect.

    • Bryan says:

      There were not many grammatical errors, but the few that you had are irritating to say the least. I hate it when people use ‘your’ in place of ‘you’re’ like in your first paragraph. I also have no idea how this sentence even made it into the review if you did in fact proof read it: “Luckily there is a map, however, it doesn’t tell you how to get to the are you need to go.”.

      The thing that irritated me the most was the punctuation. There are commas thrown in for no reason and short five word sentences that merely restate an opinion you’ve already made. All in all I just do not like your review. It irritates me that it’s poorly written and your scoring system doesn’t even average out correctly.

  3. Kevin says:

    I noticed the “you’re” typo, sorry, I’m usually pretty good about the whole “your/you’re” thing, I fixed it now. I do type 72 words per minute after all, and I do mean 72 correct words per minute.

  4. Mark V. says:

    What is up with the average score? The only thing you rate above a “7″ is the graphics but yet the average you give is a 7/10?? Averaging your scores up should give a 4/10…and that is with the 10/10 you gave for the graphics.

    Speaking of graphics, I’m curious as to what made you give the graphics a 10/10! Even games like Mass Effect 2, Uncharted 2, and Gears of War don’t deserve a 10/10 in graphics but are infinitely better looking than this game!

  5. Kevin says:

    I’ll lower the rating a little, to make it more coercive.

  6. Will says:

    The comments may be harsh but don’t get discouraged. You’re still in HS, but you need to step up your writing game. Sign up for some writing courses or get some books on it, if your passion is writing. Just so you know, as a writer, you will NEVER please everyone. There will ALWAYS be someone with something negative to say about your writing style, no matter what. Correct the basics in your writing, and other than that, keep at it. It’s brave to put your work out there.

  7. Sleven says:

    Mate, nice review. Found the link from Xfire.
    Well, I was asked by my site admin to look for freelance writer and you seem pretty good. If you are interested to write for NoobFeed.com, send me an email to ron@noobfeed.com.
    Have fun mate.
    Peace.

  8. Kevin says:

    Thanks, I’ll contact you.

  9. Good start. Like Video Games? Then check out my blog at http://www.truegamereporting.wordpress.com

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